8 Green Bottles: A Drinking Song

by Aidan Chivers

Wondering what to have to accompany your steak next Monday formal?  The highly-regarded freshers’ wine team give you the definitive verdict on the range of wines on offer, with a single adjective on each and a score out of 111:

8 green bottles, standing on the wall
8 green bottles, standing on the wall
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall
(La Promenade Syrah, £6.50, “tangy”, 54)
There’d be 7 green bottles standing on the wall

7 green bottles, standing on the wall
7 green bottles, standing on the wall
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall
(Allamanda Puglia Sangiovese, £6.40, “berry”, 63)
There’d be 6 green bottles standing on the wall

(Montepulciano D’Abruz Class, £7.30, “jarring”, 65)
…5 green bottles…

(Andersbrook Shiraz, £6.50, (SA) “boer-ish”, 73)
…4 green bottles…

(Los tres Curas Carmenere, £6.50, “woody”, 75)
…3 green bottles…

(Pech Roc Merlot, £6.95, “understated”, 82)
…2 green bottles…

(Hoopenburg Cabernet, £7.20, “strong”, 82)
There’d be 1 green bottle standing on the wall

1 green bottle, standing on the wall
1 green bottle, standing on the wall
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall
(Estola Reeserva Bodegas Ayuso, £8.50, “silky”, 84)
There’d be no green bottles on the wall.

Performed with special thanks to œnophile Kaz Bąkowski, Josh Hutchinson and self-proclaimed ‘assistant editor-in-chief’ William McDonald)

The Poor Print

The Oriel College Newspaper. Run by students, with contributions from the JCR, MCR, and SCR & Staff. Current Executive Editors: Alex Waygood & Aidan Chivers.

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