by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Anonymous Milk gliding down your throatlike powdered pearlsdelicate excrement groundsmooth and texturelessthick, filling, a plastic glovethat tastes of the moonthat final drop in a glassCircling around the bottomSpreading when tilted allover the surface, waxing toa crescent and then a fullmoon, gravity calling and the misty blue fadingand waning, from the edgesa translucent shadeholographic white,a […]
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by Leonard Shaw and Lo the gentle lantern leads me; swingingdown the quiet cobbles. A pale light singingfrom the flickering flame, guides me as I stumbledown the way.Although the unlit street’s a cool pretence,Surely buildings pass on either side, butDare I not to reach and stroke the brickwork.Lest this cold presumption’s no defence. So onwards […]
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by Hamish Dodd Editor’s note: The solutions to this puzzle will be published here on Sunday 4 June. Across 6 Tom Sawyer’s friend is tangled in her freckly bun (11,4) 8 Anger following burst of energy in kingdom (6) 9 Royal Mail sends final amount to marsupial (6) 10 Agreement about a tree (3) 11 Group’s charged on board for personal items (11) 13 Re-wind some […]
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by O Collopy The sweat drips down the coldRock face of my skin, collectingIn a pool at my feet as I scrawlBut then I look down as I thinkThat my shoes begin to overflowBut there I see three inches thickOf deep slimy liquid flooding andFilling the room, a fluffy carpetFloating at my ankles. This isNo […]
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by Joshua Freeman Bruits de transbordements blancs tels l’écume allante Voiture et bus prennent un air vif de goujon Les yeux rouges des grues observent ces poissons. Les clochers d’albâtre sont îles scintillantes Un urbain rivage, plein d’étoiles filantes Reflète les cieux, entouré de noirs monts. C’est un profond lac plein de constellations De loin […]
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by Carolina Cortés Vilaplana Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish M1 → → → → Head! M2 ↑ → → → 22nd M3 ↑ → ↑ ↓ 58th M4 → ↓ ↓ → 67th M5 ↑ ↑ ↑ → 64th Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish W1 → ↑ ↑ ↑ 4th W2 ↑ → […]
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by Noah Sitaula-Adhikari What is water?Is it something you drink?Why do you even have to drink?!Can’t you just drink Fanta!!?Or is it a sword?It sounds like one!Who was even the first person to see water!!!Why does it sound weird!!Can you ride it!Water, water you hear it everywhere!!!Can you jump on it?Is it human!!Or creature!I don’t […]
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by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Siddiq Islam
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by Tom Rose Editor’s note: The solutions to this puzzle are available here. Across 1 A unit representative of a typical, grizzly hospital (8,6) 9 Gods of a mount from the east (5) 10 A welcoming signal? (9) 11 Decapitate pig with blade (3) 12 Minecraft block-style copper starts to become increasingly corroded (5) 13 Make a bet, lose £1000, […]
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by Jerric Chong We at Oriel are quite privileged indeed to be able to listen to an extraordinarily broad range of live music. Even discounting the superb ensembles and performers of every genre who can be heard across the city and university, Oriel is fortunate to be able to put on a wide array of […]
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by Sam Hardaker Subtitled a ‘time bending rom-com’, the student-run Sisyphus House touched a nostalgic and sentimental nerve. Written by Abbie Nott and Megan Bruton, the new play had a unique and fresh voice, both loving and honest, truthful and fantastical, and Sisyphus House was able to transform a rather grey Thursday and my rather […]
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by Siddiq Islam O a wondrous yestermorrow,Wrapped up with my missus Mono.Cuddles, nuzzles, hugs and kisses,Wrapped up with my Mono missus. But, next day, I’m fever’s captive.What has made me so reactive?Tossing, turning all night long.What has happened? What is wrong? Hearing Doctor’s diagnosis:‘You have Mononucleosis.Drink some water, get some rest,And stay away from me! […]
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Three Summers by Leonard Shaw non puntonibussoles non placet nostriscapti labore terror ob finemdocumenta moraticor iam sanatur solis occasusmembra calefactantesmox laboramus we are not in puntssunny days delight us notheld hostage by work panic for the endtutorials are delayedmy heart is now healed the sun is settingthough our bodies are warmersoon we work again
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by Hani Ali Whether you have finals, prelims, or obscure second-year exams (why?) coming up, I can imagine you are probably under a lot of stress. Your friends are too busy to see you, the work never stops, and you’ve had to cut down on formals and other leisure activities. Why wouldn’t you be? As […]
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by Anonymous The heavy psychoanalytical undertones of Katherine Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ has been the subject of much scholarly attention in recent years, as has the Oedipal complexity that dominates the lyrics. However, less well documented is the gastronomic and culinary imagery which pervades the song both lyrically and videographically. This, coupled with a recognition of […]
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by David Akanji Nothing’s like the excitement of trying a new beer for the first time. The anticipation builds as you crack open the bottle and the aroma wafts up to your nose. The first sip is always the most telling, as you try to discern the flavours and characteristics of the brew. While the […]
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by Monim Wains The very first issue of The Poor Print was published in Trinity Term 2013. To celebrate our tenth birthday, we’ve asked past Poor Printers to provide retrospective editorials on their time with the newspaper. Here, Monim Wains reflects on his time as an executive editor from 2019 to 2022. I think I […]
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by Ayomikun Bolaji The women* of Oriel gathered once more on the 28th of April to celebrate woman*hood, female* empowerment and diversity at the Women*’s Dinner: a feat we have only enjoyed once before, and will hopefully enjoy for many years to come thanks to the amazing Eva Hogan, JCR Women*’s Officer. ‘I want Women*’s […]
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by Joshua Freeman Original (French) Faite de bon temps, de vieille pierre, d’émoiMa chambre n’est pas qu’un lieu d’escale sans vieIntarie, cette source est ma meilleure amieSous la voûte céleste elle est faite de bois La pluie résonne en moi comme un vieux souvenirSur l’alcôve le ciel joue une mélodieMa chambre est bien plus que […]
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by Siddiq Islam Leave mistakes from yesterday.Banish worries of tomorrow.Later we can dwell on sorrow.Just for now, put it away. What’s around you? Chairs? Buildings?Or are you in the forest yonder?God has put you where you wonder.Cherish this fact of all things. The people need you back again.How they miss your quiet beauty.Smile because it […]
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by Pia Regensburger On the agenda today is a hot topic: toast. The one aspect we will be able to agree on is that traditional pre-sliced sandwich bread makes excellent toast, but any further talk about toast is bound to result in a heated debate. Should we choose white, wheat or rye bread, sourdough or […]
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A PDF of the print version of Issue #88 – Paradise – can be downloaded here.
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Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) worries, and I’ll help […]
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by Anonymous Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish M1 ↓ ↓ → → 3rd M2 ↓↓↓↓ ↑ ↓↓↓↓↓ → 37th Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish W1 ↑ ↑ → → 3rd W2 ↓↓ ↓ ↓ → 39th You may have seen Oriel’s official Instagram post about our rowing crews’ racing achievements this term, but […]
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by Sam Hardaker As a fan of the show, with the Broadway album etched permanently into my brain, it is difficult to decide to see another version of something I love, knowing it will be different. But boy am I glad to have witnessed Pelican Productions’ Spring Awakening this Hilary term. From the first note […]
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by Anonymous Lo! what a life for you, little bean,Left upon the plate otherwise so empty.You are so round and your juices so sweet,And yet your master let you not enter his lips. Wherefore did such a thing occur, little bean?Was your master in a rush for a 9am class?Or were you too much effort […]
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by Leonard Shaw Alas! You know only the simple ways:For such a man the days fly and flitterFrom one week to the next,Till the term, the year, the life is o’er. Upon a passing fancy in the street or in a carriage,One can only wonder surely when the next may come to be.And yet the […]
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by Jerric Chong In paradisum deducant te Angeli: They come now, those harbingers so bright, In tuo adventu suscipiant te Martyres, Beckoning thee at the celestial gate: Et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem. ’Tis at unity with itself; gladly go thou in. But O what glories shalt thou then behold? Chorus Angelorum te suscipiat, […]
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by Tom Rose Across 1 Poor mark suggests something’s wrong (3,4) 5 Fix the wizard a big cheese? (7) 10 Just holding one is a long way off (4) 11 ABBA overdo dancing, honest (5,5) 12 Using some incorrect or pidgin Latin is sluggish (6) 13 ‘People known to love sheep stew’, His Highness inaccurately […]
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by Jerric Chong For most of us, I suppose, the words ‘maths’ and ‘humour’ will rarely appear in the same sentence, let alone alongside each other. But not after attending Fermat’s Last Tango, performed by a cast and crew of Oxford students at the Mathematical Institute, which despite its niche subject matter succeeds in providing […]
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by Siddiq Islam ACROSS 3 Dodgy cat simp affects me (7) 7 Somehow turn coo into fried bread for soup (7) 8 Act differently under X-ray scan (3) 9 Clumsy detective derives coulomb (7) 12 Oscar Brown wearing beret reflects upon divine literature (5) 13 Am going for cheese that’s oozing without ease (6) 16 […]
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A PDF of the print version of Issue #87 – Forbidden– can be downloaded here
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by Siddiq Islam,(1:48 am) Slumped on the hard edge of a long day,My tired arms spindle like crusty crab’s legs.My brain has dried out by now of things to say,Poking around at what’s left of the dregs. Tried eating, the heating, unplugging the buzzes,Tried not to feel through the weak mattress the springs,And I tried […]
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by Jerric Chong and Evie Sharp Paris has just been liberated from its Nazi occupiers. Legions of American veterans begin departing on their way home across the Atlantic. But not so for youthful Jerry Mulligan, an artistic dilettante smitten with a young ballerina he encounters on the Parisian streets. He soon meets the composer and […]
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by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Ayomikun Bolaji I dream of you — Damned sandman won’t stop spilling seeds about you.He knows that I yearn for you, breathe for you.The tugging in my heart’s apparently a hot topic in fairylandBut You have no idea what I’d give for you,Mountains I’d climb for you,Poems I could write for you- Rhyming ‘you’ with ‘you’ […]
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by Anonymous You say I can ask you anything,But not this: If love does not envy,Why do I? I ask though I know The answer. Your love is not meant for A lesser love, worthy of heaven but not earth,Heaven, where I’ll be made perfect,Cleansed of my sins, of the shardsOf the home I would have […]
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by The Grey Prince O what have we become,God of grace divine,When children on computers,In simulation, yearn for the mines? O what have we become?From the Lord’s path we stray,The shops once fifteen miles,Now fifteen minutes away. O what have we become,Blessed holy Lamb of God?The sky is far too clear;I miss the warming smog. […]
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