by Tom Rose Across 1 Poor mark suggests something’s wrong (3,4) 5 Fix the wizard a big cheese? (7) 10 Just holding one is a long way off (4) 11 ABBA overdo dancing, honest (5,5) 12 Using some incorrect or pidgin Latin is sluggish (6) 13 ‘People known to love sheep stew’, His Highness inaccurately […]
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by Jerric Chong In paradisum deducant te Angeli: They come now, those harbingers so bright, In tuo adventu suscipiant te Martyres, Beckoning thee at the celestial gate: Et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem. ’Tis at unity with itself; gladly go thou in. But O what glories shalt thou then behold? Chorus Angelorum te suscipiat, […]
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by Leonard Shaw Alas! You know only the simple ways:For such a man the days fly and flitterFrom one week to the next,Till the term, the year, the life is o’er. Upon a passing fancy in the street or in a carriage,One can only wonder surely when the next may come to be.And yet the […]
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by Anonymous Lo! what a life for you, little bean,Left upon the plate otherwise so empty.You are so round and your juices so sweet,And yet your master let you not enter his lips. Wherefore did such a thing occur, little bean?Was your master in a rush for a 9am class?Or were you too much effort […]
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by Sam Hardaker As a fan of the show, with the Broadway album etched permanently into my brain, it is difficult to decide to see another version of something I love, knowing it will be different. But boy am I glad to have witnessed Pelican Productions’ Spring Awakening this Hilary term. From the first note […]
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by Anonymous Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish M1 ↓ ↓ → → 3rd M2 ↓↓↓↓ ↑ ↓↓↓↓↓ → 37th Boat Wed Thu Fri Sat Finish W1 ↑ ↑ → → 3rd W2 ↓↓ ↓ ↓ → 39th You may have seen Oriel’s official Instagram post about our rowing crews’ racing achievements this term, but […]
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Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) worries, and I’ll help […]
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A PDF of the print version of Issue #88 – Paradise – can be downloaded here.
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by Jerric Chong For most of us, I suppose, the words ‘maths’ and ‘humour’ will rarely appear in the same sentence, let alone alongside each other. But not after attending Fermat’s Last Tango, performed by a cast and crew of Oxford students at the Mathematical Institute, which despite its niche subject matter succeeds in providing […]
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by Siddiq Islam ACROSS 3 Dodgy cat simp affects me (7) 7 Somehow turn coo into fried bread for soup (7) 8 Act differently under X-ray scan (3) 9 Clumsy detective derives coulomb (7) 12 Oscar Brown wearing beret reflects upon divine literature (5) 13 Am going for cheese that’s oozing without ease (6) 16 […]
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by The Grey Prince O what have we become,God of grace divine,When children on computers,In simulation, yearn for the mines? O what have we become?From the Lord’s path we stray,The shops once fifteen miles,Now fifteen minutes away. O what have we become,Blessed holy Lamb of God?The sky is far too clear;I miss the warming smog. […]
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by Anonymous You say I can ask you anything,But not this: If love does not envy,Why do I? I ask though I know The answer. Your love is not meant for A lesser love, worthy of heaven but not earth,Heaven, where I’ll be made perfect,Cleansed of my sins, of the shardsOf the home I would have […]
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by Ayomikun Bolaji I dream of you — Damned sandman won’t stop spilling seeds about you.He knows that I yearn for you, breathe for you.The tugging in my heart’s apparently a hot topic in fairylandBut You have no idea what I’d give for you,Mountains I’d climb for you,Poems I could write for you- Rhyming ‘you’ with ‘you’ […]
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by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Jerric Chong and Evie Sharp Paris has just been liberated from its Nazi occupiers. Legions of American veterans begin departing on their way home across the Atlantic. But not so for youthful Jerry Mulligan, an artistic dilettante smitten with a young ballerina he encounters on the Parisian streets. He soon meets the composer and […]
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by Siddiq Islam,(1:48 am) Slumped on the hard edge of a long day,My tired arms spindle like crusty crab’s legs.My brain has dried out by now of things to say,Poking around at what’s left of the dregs. Tried eating, the heating, unplugging the buzzes,Tried not to feel through the weak mattress the springs,And I tried […]
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by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Sam Hardaker This past Tuesday, 31 January, Oriel’s dining hall opened its doors to a new type of formal dinner: a multicultural formal. After careful organisation and advertisement by our very own JCR Equalities and Access Officer, Shubh Kumar, the dinner featured four courses, featuring a Greek meze platter, a Moroccan sorbet, Tandoori chicken […]
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by Jerric Chong Richard Farrant (c. 1528 – 1580) was a Tudor musician and theatrical producer who sang in the Chapel Royal (the royal choir) and later became the master of its boy choristers. His job – besides directing the choir and playing the organ – involved helping to entertain Queen Elizabeth I by getting […]
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by Siddiq Islam (3am, Sunday, 5 February 2023) Dear little Peter, he sleeps where he chooses. He picks out a spot that he likes, never loses, and that’s where he lies down, and that’s where he snoozes. This evening, our dear little Peter, it seems, invites to his home but the girl of his dreams! […]
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by Thomas Darcy What I have to say is that I ultimately don’t trust these Poor Print people when they say the issue’s theme is just a suggestion. I accept that many pieces before me and no doubt after (pending continued JCR funding) in fact have little relation to the others that exist around them. […]
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by Hani Ali ‘Her abode is concealed in the lowest recesses of a cave, wanting sun, and not pervious to any wind, dismal and filled with benumbing cold; and which is ever without fire, and ever abounding with darkness.’ I have been acquainted with Envy for a long while. My futile attempts at keeping her […]
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by The Grey Prince Under that pernicious smileA gouda grin,To look upon your eyes,I am blacksticks blue,I long to be camembert,Shared together,My heart crumbles as Cornish cheddar,To chew on those delightful digits,Five counties,Jealously guarded by a leather cage,Doc Martens.
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by Anonymous Oh, how I envy the common woman,Free to let herself roam,Walking the world and its streets,Dogs out; feeling for a bone. But I cannot join her, this woman,On her quest to free her toes.Alas, I must keep them hidden.Hidden from friends and foes. For you see, gentle reader,With your sumptuous, brittle talons,I cannot […]
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by Anonymous To the girl across from me in the Rad Cam:You know well who you are;You thought I missed your quiet looks,But I hold them in my heart. ‘Maybe he’ll Oxfess me! Or pass a note –He’d have to be adroit!’No doubt you’re thinking, or daydreaming.I’m sorry to disappoint … ‘A Maccies date, then, […]
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by Max Benster ‘WE SHALL NOT CEASE FROM EXPLORATION, AND THE END OF ALL OUR EXPLORING WILL BE TO ARRIVE WHERE WE STARTED AND KNOW THE PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME.’ – T. S. Eliot I think that one of the best things Oxford has going for it is the calibre of its pubs. I […]
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by Ben Nolan Before he played on the England team, Bellingham had to navigate the dark and dangerous world of Dudley and Bromsgrove football. Reflections based on my career as a professional footballer. It was a cold Saturday morning. I had been woken up at 6am and whisked off to Belbroughton football club after a […]
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by Carolina Cortés Vilaplana There is something so cold about a tall, sleek, grey building with square glass windows. An urban setting, the bollards smooth all around, their shape unrelenting. The same bored poles in place of a lamppost. Flat metal rods at exactly ninety degrees that are but the skeleton of ancient bridges. There […]
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by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
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by Ayomikun Bolaji
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by Siddiq Islam Lapworth. Megaloceros. Hanging on the wall like a giant freak.There’s something intense about all this debris,The coloured rocks and the dead fish in the cupboards. I’d hate to end up like them some day. Dusty. Preserved.Maybe I’d enjoy the attention,The little kids’ fingerprints on my glass,The bright museum lights washing over me. […]
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The Poor Print 