Poetry

Growing Sleepy

by Siddiq Islam Dare I recline?I grow much too sleepyAnd human designIs too weak to keep meFrom downwardly driftingTo dreams buried deep,The loads of life liftingIn velvety sleep. Dare I lie down?My dark eyes are sinkingAnd temptations drownAll weaker-willed thinking.Succumbing to slumber,My soft, calm mistake.I must not plunge under.I must stay awake.

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Prose

Goodnight, Sleep Well

by M. Davies (College Porter) [CW: corporal punishment] Before prayers at Friday’s house assembly, my name had been called; I was being summoned to be ‘on the carpet’. So, after the assembly, we would change for bed, but I would be having to answer for my misconduct before the House Master. The announcement was often […]

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College

Your Peer Supporters

by Oriel College Peer Supporters You might remember hearing about Peer Supporters in Freshers’s Week, but that was ages ago – and even worse if you’re not a Fresher! So, here is a reminder. What are Peer Supporters? We are volunteer students, just like you, who have been trained by the Counselling Service to be […]

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Cartoon, Poetry

Sleepy Bob

by Noah S. Adhikari The silliest poem I have ever made Wakey wakey, that same routine,‘Oh, wake up Sleepy Bob’He sleeps like a koala…‘No thank you mom’ This is how sleepy Bob takes a shower Isn’t it funny? ‘Get up, Bob,’ she says This is how sleepy Bob eats, He needs a soft seatAnd worst […]

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Comment, Prose

The Illusion of Institution

by Monim Wains Institutions have always been interesting to me. There is a realisation that I have had as I have gotten older: they don’t actually exist, do they? As an undergraduate with barely two decades of life under my belt, you might already be switching away from this article, wondering what on earth I […]

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Humour, Prose

Dear Beary … [12]

by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. […]

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Artwork, Poetry

Horrid Henry’s Silly Poem

by Noah S. Adhikari Horrid Henry is a silly naughty, silly boy.Perfect Peter is the nice cry baby for real – you will find out later!Moody Margaret is Henry’s worst neighbour everrr! Horrid Henry is silly as a dog.Perfect Peter, nice as a seahorse, cries as a little baby.Moody Margaret is bossy as a cat, […]

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Prose

Aptitude Test for Dyslexics

by M. Davies (College Porter) Sadly, it was never dyslexics who wrote the rules in education, but thankfully it is for Porters to interpret and enforce them in Oxford’s colleges. My school’s ‘Career Aptitude Test’ sticks out in my memory (information gathered on a complex form type questionnaire). The top three recommended professions that came […]

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Poetry

The King of Applause

by Siddiq Islam The King needs to hear the extent of his power,So crams to the corners his grand vestibuleWith columns of courtiers, whom every sixth hour,He orders applause from to honour his rule. But crowds often tend to start clapping in tandem,Which lessens the roar of a self-crafted fandom.The cheers must sound full, and […]

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Culture, Prose, Reviews

Persephone: A Review

by Monim Wains [CW: mentions of mental illness, sexual violence, and miscarriage] A classic tale rewritten with lucid modern lyrics, sung fantastically throughout. That was a fun evening. Persephone is a story that has probably brought many a classicist to tears, with origins far back in Ancient Greece. But Emma Hawkins’s writing brings the story […]

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Comment, Prose

Chicken in a Nightmare

by M. Davies (College Porter) [CW: homophobia] Fred Bickerton started at University College as an Under Scout (more specifically as ‘under bedmaker’) in 1897 and retired as Head Porter in 1950. I thought the following may be of interest from his published memoirs. When Fred first started in the Porters’ Lodge as an ‘under-porter’, he […]

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Poetry

F***ing Magic

by Siddiq Islam The whole wide world and all its space,With every land and ocean each,And in between, the brazen beach,The forests green in all their grace,The open fields and hilltops high,And miles and miles of boundless sky. Is this some twisted sorcerer’s scoff,Or are you just here to piss me off?All that space, the […]

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Creative Writing, Prose

In a Fairytale

by Monim Wains I can see the lights around me, sparkly and bright. And there is glitter on the trees, little fireflies flickering in the wind. Music and colour fill the scene no matter where I look. Here and there, giants curl over steaming hot drinks, smiling and laughing, all their noses bright pink. I […]

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Creative Writing, Prose

Lens of Love

by Madeline Dougherty ’Look, there, the way the sunset peeks between those buildings? Isn’t it beautiful?’ Her excitement, awe, is infectious. It would be impossible to disagree, but I look to where she’s pointing anyway. My breath catches in my throat – the sunset isn’t just beautiful, it is stunning. The sky all around is […]

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Comment, Prose

A Word from the Editors: Magic

by Monim Wains What sets magic apart – what makes something magical – is the surprise, I would suggest. It is the revelation of something hidden and unexpected, without any explanation for why it is so. And our reaction, good or bad, depends on what we know, and where the magic remains. When we are […]

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Humour, Prose

Dear Beary … [11]

by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. […]

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Culture, Prose, Reviews

Returning to Battles Past

by M. Davies (College Porter) Postponed due to the pandemic from the 7th to the 31st of October, a new play, Into Battle, is to make its first stage appearance at the Greenwich Theatre, London. Written by Hugh Salmon, Into Battle tells the true story of a student feud that took place within Balliol College, […]

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Creative Writing, Prose

The Cottage Looked Over the Graveyard

by Samuel Skuse I. Long drive home. Roads blur into hours. I pull over twice for coffee but I’m not really tired, just bored. Roads blur into hours. I said that already.  A name comes sharply into focus on an approaching road sign. A warmly smiling face in the crowd, the only face that makes […]

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Poetry

On Returning to a Poem Written Several Years Ago

by Joe Lever I find the words in some way different nowTo how I left them – changed, as if one nightA room once known had been rewrought somehow,Familiar but altered. No, not quite: Home stayed as it was left – and I had changedBy increments and instants, now estrangedFrom words I know but do […]

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Poetry

good to be back

by Siddiq Islam turn off the george and there he is,that clumsy git with his smiling gob,and i can’t help mirror my smile to his, the satellite arms of that doughnut duffer,come on mate, don’t be a knob,i bury my hug in his pembroke puffer, and a textless, snapless, three-month vacmelts away. a two-tick job.and […]

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Poetry

The Blue Flowerpot

by Samuel Skuse A stranger lives in the house I grew up in.I don’t know why I didn’t expect thatBut I didn’t. Just like I didn’t expect them to have redecorated,Remodelled,Removed everything I remembered. Except a blue flowerpot,Perched on the windowsill like a patient catWaiting for its owner to come home. I remember my mum […]

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Artwork, Cartoon, Poetry

A New Uniform for the Year

by Monim Wains My adventure began with wet October days.A cap and gown in hand, walking around in a daze. What was I to do at this new place, with all it masses of tradition?After years of hard work, the result of unhealthy ambition? But no, this was mine, to take, to make my own.Off […]

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