Humour, Prose

DayLight Robbery

by y/n Dick, You’re holding the gun against me so gently. Ironic, since there’s already an arrow lodged deep within my chest. Your smouldering gaze holds me frozen in place and my heart skips a beat. I knew you would come for me. ‘Everyone thinks they know my story’, you say. But they’ve only heard […]

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Humour, Prose

A Tortoise’s Revenge

by Becky Collett Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a boy named Alex. Alex was 19 years old, and an avid rower, belonging to the notoriously rowing-obsessed Oxford college – Oriel. And because he was the men’s rowing captain, both he and the women’s captain were entitled to a […]

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Poetry

Permanence

by S. Hardaker limbs and flower stems seem oddly similar,branching and stretching and aching in their own ways;growing pains, a reminder of maturing. my legs are slowly giving way.i am 11,i am 15. i have stopped growing now,the legs say,you are stuck like this. the wind changed.a gust could whisk petals away,start a new bed. […]

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Poetry

On Second Thoughts,

by Siddiq Islam that thing I had planned to dowas probably not that great of an ideaanyways. Silly concoctions of the mindbreak away,biscuit crumbs soakingin the Earl Grey of common sense. ‘Swap unrealitiesfor sturdy, long-term investments,’ they tell me.‘Just like crypto!’On second thoughts, maybe not … And on third thoughts, swim in it.Drown and laugh […]

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Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [16]

by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]

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