by Siddiq Islam Mathematics is a rare but serious condition that not many know about, and yet, it may be quietly affecting many of your friends at university. It is often caused by a degree in mathematics, and it gives rise to many symptoms, ranging from minor to debilitating. The condition is characterised by a […]
Read moreNocowley Road
by Siddiq Islam I wander down to Cowley Road To see where all the cows are stowed, But when I find no cows are there, They tell me I should look elsewhere. ‘How rubbishly they named’, I muse, ‘A cow-named road where no cow moos,’ But on I trudge to find the cattle, My own, determined, bovine battle. I think to […]
Read moreRude Frog
by Siddiq Islam
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [24]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) worries, […]
Read moreSonnet to the Pigeon That Keeps Excreting and Trying to Get into My Room
by Tarquin Parry-Wingfield Sonnets speak of love, mine will speak of hate; Our relationship quickly went downhill, When you kindly began to defecate Both on and inside my two window sills. You know what you have done, you must feel smug; To make it worse, you litter your feathers; Did no one warn you that we all hate thugs? I am […]
Read moreOrigin
by Kilian King The JCR President and porter looked at each other, then back at the gently smoking crater in front of them, then at each other again. After an awkward silence, the porter cleared his throat and looked at her impatiently. ‘Are you not even going to try and explain yourself?’ he asked, in […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [23]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [22]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read moreKnocking on 697’s Door: ‘It Tastes Like Beer’
by David Akanji Nothing’s like the excitement of trying a new beer for the first time. The anticipation builds as you crack open the bottle and the aroma wafts up to your nose. The first sip is always the most telling, as you try to discern the flavours and characteristics of the brew. While the […]
Read moreA Sophisticated Analysis of Sadomasochism and Cannibalism in Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ ft. Snoop Dogg (2010)
by Anonymous The heavy psychoanalytical undertones of Katherine Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ has been the subject of much scholarly attention in recent years, as has the Oedipal complexity that dominates the lyrics. However, less well documented is the gastronomic and culinary imagery which pervades the song both lyrically and videographically. This, coupled with a recognition of […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [21]
Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) worries, and I’ll help […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [20]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [19]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [18]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [17]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read moreDayLight Robbery
by y/n Dick, You’re holding the gun against me so gently. Ironic, since there’s already an arrow lodged deep within my chest. Your smouldering gaze holds me frozen in place and my heart skips a beat. I knew you would come for me. ‘Everyone thinks they know my story’, you say. But they’ve only heard […]
Read moreA Tortoise’s Revenge
by Becky Collett Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a boy named Alex. Alex was 19 years old, and an avid rower, belonging to the notoriously rowing-obsessed Oxford college – Oriel. And because he was the men’s rowing captain, both he and the women’s captain were entitled to a […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [16]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [16]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read more‘Dear Beary …’ [15]
by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]
Read moreOperation Quackers
by The Yellow Feathers This is a transcription of an intercepted meeting of the 696th Airborne, the ‘Yellow Feathers’. Triangulation of signals places the location somewhere in the Hall rafters. Little is known about the covert division, although the code names of the commanders have been declassified for public release. The latest intelligence suggests that […]
Read moreDear Beary… [15]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is send an email to thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the […]
Read moreDear Beary … [14]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is send an email to thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the […]
Read moreDear Beary … [13]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. […]
Read moreDear Beary … [12]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. […]
Read moreDear Beary … [11]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. […]
Read moreDear Beary … [9]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if you’re lucky […]
Read moreby Lily Parmar 1. Do you usually remember your dreams when you wake up? (Y / N) 2. Do you keep a “dream journal”? (Y / N) 3. Do you have a recurring dream? (Y / N) 4. Is it a recurring nightmare? (Y / N) 5. If you have a recurring dream, is it […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [8]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if you’re lucky […]
Read moreUniversity Survival Guide
by Ruida Ding Time Management Strive to study in a systematic manner, for example by following a schedule to work a fixed amount of time each day. With sufficient advance planning, one can avoid working late into the night and circumvent all-nighters. Career Make use of Michaelmas term to converse with firms which interest you. […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [7]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.ukwith the subject line ‘Dear Beary’. Of course, if you’d […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [6]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [5]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if you’re lucky your […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [4]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if you’re lucky your […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [3]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [2]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if […]
Read more‘Dear Beary…’ [1]
by Beary McBearface Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. All you need to do is email thepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’, and if […]
Read moreMisfortune and Monopoly
by Peter Hammerton Any self-proclaimed board games aficionado, sitting in a café playing The Settlers of Catan with a tattoo of an icosahedral die on his forearm, will tell you that Monopoly is terrible. It lasts forever; it’s obvious who’s going to win long before it ends; it’s a glorification of capitalism, rugged individualism and […]
Read moreThe Trouble with Quidditch
by Peter Hammerton Harry Potter, my favourite fantasy series, has its own sport: Quidditch! Everyone loves Quidditch, but not everyone loves how it works. Here’s a brief summary: wizards and witches fly on broomsticks around a stadium. Each team has three Chasers (who score 10 points for every time they throw a ball through a […]
Read moreWelcome to the Festival of Brexit Britain
by Rhiannon Savage
Read more