The Poor Print

Issue #86 – Envy

A PDF of the print version of Issue #86 – Envy– can be downloaded here

The Lie-in, the Witch and the War Drone

by Siddiq Islam (3am, Sunday, 5 February 2023) Dear little Peter, he sleeps where he chooses. He picks out a spot that he likes, never loses, and that’s where he lies down, and that’s where he snoozes. This evening, our dear little Peter, it seems, invites to his home but the girl of his dreams! […]

Prose

A Tale of Two Farrants

by Jerric Chong Richard Farrant (c. 1528 – 1580) was a Tudor musician and theatrical producer who sang in the Chapel Royal (the royal choir) and later became the master of its boy choristers. His job – besides directing the choir and playing the organ – involved helping to entertain Queen Elizabeth I by getting […]

Comment, Culture, Food & Drink, Prose, Reviews

Equalities Week: JCR Multicultural Formal

by Sam Hardaker This past Tuesday, 31 January, Oriel’s dining hall opened its doors to a new type of formal dinner: a multicultural formal. After careful organisation and advertisement by our very own JCR Equalities and Access Officer, Shubh Kumar, the dinner featured four courses, featuring a Greek meze platter, a Moroccan sorbet, Tandoori chicken […]

Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [19]

by Beary McBearface Hello there! My name’s Beary, one of the giant teddy bears who hang out in the JCR – I’m the brown one; my purple counterpart is John Henry. As The Poor Print’s self-anointed agony aunt, I’m here to help you with any troubles you’re facing. Please send me your college (or general) […]

Poetry

Stolen Moments of Pedestrian Desire in the Radcliffe Camera

by Anonymous To the girl across from me in the Rad Cam:You know well who you are;You thought I missed your quiet looks,But I hold them in my heart. ‘Maybe he’ll Oxfess me! Or pass a note –He’d have to be adroit!’No doubt you’re thinking, or daydreaming.I’m sorry to disappoint … ‘A Maccies date, then, […]

Poetry

Woof

by Anonymous Oh, how I envy the common woman,Free to let herself roam,Walking the world and its streets,Dogs out; feeling for a bone. But I cannot join her, this woman,On her quest to free her toes.Alas, I must keep them hidden.Hidden from friends and foes. For you see, gentle reader,With your sumptuous, brittle talons,I cannot […]

Poetry

C

by The Grey Prince Under that pernicious smileA gouda grin,To look upon your eyes,I am blacksticks blue,I long to be camembert,Shared together,My heart crumbles as Cornish cheddar,To chew on those delightful digits,Five counties,Jealously guarded by a leather cage,Doc Martens.

Creative Writing, Prose

envy persists still

by Hani Ali ‘Her abode is concealed in the lowest recesses of a cave, wanting sun, and not pervious to any wind, dismal and filled with benumbing cold; and which is ever without fire, and ever abounding with darkness.’ I have been acquainted with Envy for a long while. My futile attempts at keeping her […]

Comment, Culture, Music, Prose

De Carmine ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’, or I Don’t Actually Hate It

by Thomas Darcy What I have to say is that I ultimately don’t trust these Poor Print people when they say the issue’s theme is just a suggestion. I accept that many pieces before me and no doubt after (pending continued JCR funding) in fact have little relation to the others that exist around them. […]

Creative Writing, Poetry, Prose

Lapworth Megaloceros

by Siddiq Islam Lapworth. Megaloceros. Hanging on the wall like a giant freak.There’s something intense about all this debris,The coloured rocks and the dead fish in the cupboards. I’d hate to end up like them some day. Dusty. Preserved.Maybe I’d enjoy the attention,The little kids’ fingerprints on my glass,The bright museum lights washing over me. […]

Print issues

Issue #85 – Death

A PDF of the print version of Issue #85 – Death– can be downloaded here

Artwork

Pubs 2 Die 4

by Ayomikun Bolaji

Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [18]

Comment, Prose

Modernity – The Death of Personality

by Carolina Cortés Vilaplana There is something so cold about a tall, sleek, grey building with square glass windows. An urban setting, the bollards smooth all around, their shape unrelenting. The same bored poles in place of a lamppost. Flat metal rods at exactly ninety degrees that are but the skeleton of ancient bridges. There […]

Comment, Prose

The Belbroughton days – My Experience with Jude Bellingham

by Ben Nolan Before he played on the England team, Bellingham had to navigate the dark and dangerous world of Dudley and Bromsgrove football. Reflections based on my career as a professional footballer. It was a cold Saturday morning. I had been woken up at 6am and whisked off to Belbroughton football club after a […]

Comment, Culture, Food & Drink, Prose

Pubs To Die For

by Max Benster ‘WE SHALL NOT CEASE FROM EXPLORATION, AND THE END OF ALL OUR EXPLORING WILL BE TO ARRIVE WHERE WE STARTED AND KNOW THE PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME.’ – T. S. Eliot I think that one of the best things Oxford has going for it is the calibre of its pubs. I […]

Culture, Prose, Reviews

‘Dead Man’s Suitcase’: A Review

by Siddiq Islam ‘What?! … like … Jesus!’ ‘Yes, exactly like Jesus!’ It’s wonderful to see Oxford’s theatre scene thriving again post-COVID. Opportunities to see fantastic productions like this were not regularly available a year ago. Dead Man’s Suitcase posits the following question – is it possible for your life to have a reset button? […]

Print issues

Issue #84 – Brains

A PDF of the print version of Issue #84 – Brains – can be downloaded here.

Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [17]

Comment, Prose

A Word from the Editors

by Siddiq Islam The brain is a mysterious thing. Its complexities are so far beyond our understanding. We cannot say much about why we think the way we do, why we construct certain schemas, why Beary McBearface can have such wild dreams as the one he relates in his answer to ‘Dear Beary’ question 2. […]

Poetry

So Mad Was I

by Siddiq Islam I’d heard of His trials and temptations before, butHe didn’t just leave them out, peppered around.He crammed my tongue full with them, muzzled my jaws shutAnd tilted my head back to make them go down.So mad was I. This was the God I had followed,Lifting my tongue up to check that I’d […]

Comment, Prose

Sulphur Sticks and the Myth of Nation Building

by Bertie Castello 6 AM on a Tuesday morning. Florentine friend sends me a link, possibly reminiscing our transalpine past with the typical sarcastic grin that comes naturally with our undying emigrant superiority complex. Italians are interesting creatures. Recently, it has been asserted, intra Orielensia moenia, that we may in fact be Untermenschen, as we […]

Culture, Prose, Reviews

‘Troy Story: Age of the Hero’: A Review

by S. Hardaker Troy Story: Age of the Hero is an adventurous and ambitious tale of the Battle of Troy, told through the personal stories of the gods, Achilles (played by Jak Spencer) and Patroclus (Alex Rawnsley), as well as Hector (Gillian Konko) and Andromache (Erin Malinowski). Marketed as a night of myth, a journey […]

Artwork

Astral

by Claudia Hutuleac

Humour, Prose

DayLight Robbery

by y/n Dick, You’re holding the gun against me so gently. Ironic, since there’s already an arrow lodged deep within my chest. Your smouldering gaze holds me frozen in place and my heart skips a beat. I knew you would come for me. ‘Everyone thinks they know my story’, you say. But they’ve only heard […]

Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [16]

Humour, Prose

A Tortoise’s Revenge

by Becky Collett Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a boy named Alex. Alex was 19 years old, and an avid rower, belonging to the notoriously rowing-obsessed Oxford college – Oriel. And because he was the men’s rowing captain, both he and the women’s captain were entitled to a […]

Print issues

Issue #83 – Reflection

A PDF of the print version of Issue #83 – Reflection – can be downloaded here.

Prose

A Lack Of Canned Laughter In The Light Of Harrowing Food Bank Statistics

by Ben Nolan (JCR Class Officer) In the UK, there are 2,500 food banks. To put this into perspective, there are 1,374 branches of McDonald’s, 2,322 branches of Subway and 2,181 Greggs outlets. In the wake of increasing inflation and worsening energy costs, this statistic has never commanded a greater sense of urgency. The mark […]

Poetry

On Second Thoughts,

by Siddiq Islam that thing I had planned to dowas probably not that great of an ideaanyways. Silly concoctions of the mindbreak away,biscuit crumbs soakingin the Earl Grey of common sense. ‘Swap unrealitiesfor sturdy, long-term investments,’ they tell me.‘Just like crypto!’On second thoughts, maybe not … And on third thoughts, swim in it.Drown and laugh […]

Poetry

Permanence

by S. Hardaker limbs and flower stems seem oddly similar,branching and stretching and aching in their own ways;growing pains, a reminder of maturing. my legs are slowly giving way.i am 11,i am 15. i have stopped growing now,the legs say,you are stuck like this. the wind changed.a gust could whisk petals away,start a new bed. […]

Print issues

Issue #82 – Scars

A PDF of the print version of Issue #82 – Scars – can be downloaded here.

Comment, Prose

Why Do We Care More About Van Gogh’s Sunflowers Than Real Ones?

by Anna Bartlett (JCR Environment Officer) Again, headlines have been filled with reports of the ‘extreme’ tactics of environmental protesters due to the actions of a couple of soup-spewing youths. For some reason (beyond what I can fathom as rational), this event appears to have horrified some people more than the collapse of life on […]

Interview, Prose

An Interview With …

by Evie Sharp In this column, The Poor Print will interview various people around college to find out more about their everyday lives. In this issue, Evie Sharp speaks with one of the new additions to Oriel’s team of friendly porters. Carlos Giménez tells her about his favourite places, activities and memories. 1. What is […]

Art, Culture, Prose

Noah Davis: Reshaping Scars

by David Akanji Davis’s work, which was exhibited at the David Zwirner around this time last year, is still especially ground-breaking today. Davis prematurely died in 2015 at the age of 32, but his work focused on the reframing of what it means to be black. His piece The Year of the Coxswain captures the […]

Humour, Prose

‘Dear Beary …’ [16]

Comment, Prose

Scars

by Pia Regensburger A scar is a mark left on the skin after a wound or an injury has healed. This definition likely comes to mind first and foremost in any reflection on scars. The scars we see, the marks left on our bodies bearing witness to past experiences, are likely to remind us of […]

Poetry

I Have No Scars

by Ayomikun Bolaji I searched my body for scarsFigured I’d write about how I got them Take a flight down memory laneTalk about how I fought through the painProudly flex my badge of honourFrom that one time I climbed a towerOr something … I don’t have anyScars, I don’t have any scarsAt least no major […]

Poetry

Forever Part of Me

by O Collopy I always think it’s getting betterBut then something triggers a memory:A phrase or photo in my mind,Then the shockwaves retaliate. Months of progress gone to waste,Or just trying to move on in haste?Is this how I’m supposed to heal?If only I could hear how you feel! My deepest desires long for beforeTruly […]