by Beary McBearface

Beary McBearface, treasured Oriel mascot and JCR staple, is here to help you with your troubles. In this column, Beary will attempt to find solutions to your little college worries; trust him, he’s seen it all. To contact him, all you have to do is emailthepoorprint@oriel.ox.ac.uk with the subject line ‘Dear Beary’.

Of course, if you’d like to remain anonymous – and Beary encourages naming no names, we don’t want any beef here – just drop a note with your Beary concern to one of the editors’ pidges. And please do; Beary needs a hobby in his twilight years.

[If you’re really struggling, or if your problem contains sensitive information, be aware that Beary has received no formal welfare training; please message Harriet Tubb and Aidan Robertson, our beloved JCR Welfare Officers, for more information, or get in touch with the peer supporters, Welfare Deans or the College Nurse.]

1) Dear Beary, I am somehow already in the final year of my degree and I feel time is slipping away faster and faster each week. How do I combat my feelings of being overcome by my inexorable passage towards death?

Beary is a firm believer in the linear progression of time. Each year is one year long, so don’t feel as though you have to busy your days with hectic itineraries. Enjoy the ride; it’s going as slowly as ever.

2) Dear Beary, it’s week 4 and I’m still snivelling. What do I do?!

Ah yes, how freshers’ flu extends well into term … Make sure to try and get some rest if you can. Keep your distance, and get in touch with the College Nurse if you don’t feel better soon.

I know that work can make it seem like you can’t take a break, but get in touch with your tutors if you need. They will be concerned about your health as well.

3) Dear Beary, happy Halloween! Now what should we do about Christmas?

Happy Halloween to you too!

Well, if this is your first year here, you won’t yet know the joys of Oxmas! Because term finishes early, we don’t get to celebrate Christmas in Oxford. Instead, we have Oxmas one month early!

It is a time of festivities, with Christmas formal as its highlight. That is a dinner with Christmas food, and the choir singing from the balcony between courses. Watch out for emails about electing Oxmas Reps soon. And run for the position yourself, if you’d like to be one of the Oriel College organisational elves for the year!

4) Dear Beary, why is there a piano in the JCR?

For that, you can thank a certain Cameron Iggulden, who took it upon himself to purchase it on Facebook Marketplace (for free, no less) and proceeded to haul it about two miles from Headington to Oriel JCR. Kudos to him!