Humour, Prose

The Trouble with Quidditch

by Peter Hammerton Harry Potter, my favourite fantasy series, has its own sport: Quidditch! Everyone loves Quidditch, but not everyone loves how it works. Here’s a brief summary: wizards and witches fly on broomsticks around a stadium. Each team has three Chasers (who score 10 points for every time they throw a ball through a […]

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Humour, Prose

An Oxford Dictionary of Received Political Ideas

by Aidan Chivers Political discussion amongst Oxford undergraduates can be confusing at times, so Aidan Chivers has created a short dictionary to help guide you safely past any possible pitfalls. ANTISEMITISM IN THE LABOUR PARTY – Three main options: (a) blame the media; (b) make an unrelated point about Boris and burkas; (c) repeat ‘But […]

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Humour, Prose

Improper Ponderings

It is clear what the theme of this issue is trying to push with its electric blue lettering and call for, and here I quote, ‘electrifying submissions’, so, with my hand forced, I gleefully put pen to paper. It is with a jolt of inspiration that my mind turns to sources of power, then wanders […]

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Humour, Prose

Why People Should Not Go On The Grass

by Patrick Hegarty-Morrish We have little left to remember of this city of aquatint. Its morning mists, grey springtime, the rare summer’s day, fleeting like a lovebird’s escape between hedgerows; wafts of pheasant roasting over her gables and cupolas, through cloister and quadrangle, carried to the dreaming student on a weightless breeze to displace smells […]

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Humour

Oriel Reacts to a Trump Presidency…

Eoin Monaghan [at 4am, on my entering the JCR] – ‘Go back to bed, Alex. The apocalypse has already happened.’ Wesley Rawlings – ‘This is far more than something new. Syphilis would be new for me – doesn’t mean that I want it. The American people have given the White House “the clap”.’ Will Cook […]

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