Woof

by Anonymous

Oh, how I envy the common woman,
Free to let herself roam,
Walking the world and its streets,
Dogs out; feeling for a bone.

But I cannot join her, this woman,
On her quest to free her toes.
Alas, I must keep them hidden.
Hidden from friends and foes.

For you see, gentle reader,
With your sumptuous, brittle talons,
I cannot display my grotesque paws,
Not even in nail salons.

I wish I could, for just one day,
Go to hall in just ‘slider-no-sock’,
But I know what would befall me:
All you at lunch – ready to mock.

So, you may wonder, dear reader,
Why I hold this sorrowful inflection.
That is because, my Oriel pals,
I have a fungal toenail infection.

The Poor Print

Established in 2013, The Poor Print is the student-run newspaper of Oriel College, Oxford, written by members of the JCR, MCR, SCR and staff. New issues are published fortnightly during term. Our current Executive Editors are Siddiq Islam and Jerric Chong.

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